OGR 08/02/2013Hey Lucy,You know, I think you've got the makings of a lovely animated short here - a keeper :) Yes, I'm still keen to see you resolve your visual concept for the Penguin's keep, because that set can work hard for you in terms of establishing Gie's 'otherness' and the parrot enclosure as a different world. Indeed, it's an example of using environment as a quick means of establishing themes (in this instance, uniformity vs individuality). I do have a couple of further suggestions or things to think about as you prepare to finesse your story idea finally. I think we really have to understand that Gie is a boy penguin, so we understand his father's disappointment; this is hard when it comes to penguins, I know, because they all look alike, but perhaps your story could start with Gie and his friends together (before Gie goes for the hair-clip) and somehow, you show us that he's a boy. Perhaps this is simple as making the girl penguins have long eyelashes or a different eye-shape slightly; it's a character design issue, but Gie's boyness needs to be conveyed strongly (or the friend's girlness needs to be conveyed more strongly). The thematic resonance of your story hinges on us reading Gie's quest for transformation and acceptance in 2 ways.I think, when Gie first takes the hairclip into his den, we should see him putting it on his head, as someone might put a flower in their hair; he could have a little primp with it in the mirror, before the sound of the parrots makes him look out of his den. I think this small moment could be sweet and sad, i.e we see Gie put the clip in his hair and like it, then we see him worry about what he's doing a bit, and then he hears the birds. I think this will tell us a lot about him and his angst.Your story works, Lucy - the ending is moving and satisfying, and I think Gie is utterly charming. Your natural abilities in terms of character design are clear, and your sensitivity for colour is always exciting. One thing - your title is a bit, well, a bit flat. 'Gie's Adventure' doesn't quite do it for me; just 'Gie' would be better, don't you think? (is it pronounced 'Guy?' btw?) Anyway, maybe put up some title variations for some feedback, as 'Adventure' is not quite catchy enough.So, just give these few points a bit of thought - and then, Ms Yelding, I want you to go full steam ahead and make this story happen - give me the deluxe submission! Time too to think about music and sound effects + the design and choice of your animated short's branding (typeface for titles and Art Of) - there's still lots to think about and loads to do. I'm looking forward to what comes next! Onwards!